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Diana hangin with Catherine and I watching the Tragically Hip's Kingston finale to their farewell tour.
Today, Catherine, my love and my best friend, will go in to have her hip surgically repaired - patching a torn labrum (the soft tissue cup attached to the hip bone) and grinding off a bone spur/overgrowth on the top of the femur. The surgery will be done laproscopically.
The work will be done in Brockille. The surgery dates available were much better in Brockville than Ottawa.
She's nervous about the surgery and also wants desperately to stop hurting and to be able to have a more full life once again with her daughter and I. I have ever hope that this surgery and hard work on the recovery will take us there. I wish I could take away the pain that she has been experiencing and will experience tomorrow and beyond.
In a slightly unexpected twist, a hip replacement's recovery period is about 6 weeks. A laproscopic procedure, while less invasive, has a recovery period of up to 6 months. I believe the reason for the longer recovery is greater irritation to the joint. I am hoping it won't take her that long and that no complications ensue or no further injury is sustained while attempting to heal up.
She's a brave, tough, strong lady. In that respect, she reminds me of my mother whose courage over the years of agony since the awful car accident smashed her up is a true exemplar of carrying on and always trying to find the positives in tough situations. My father also, having had to learn to walk 3 times in his life (as a child, when his leg was smashed badly enough the foot was only hanging on by a thread while my mother was pregnant with me, and after losing the leg below the knee at age 78), demonstrated what courage and resilience are about. I am going to help Catherine manage as much of that as she can.
I have seen what incessant, significant pain does to people. It wears down their reserves of strength and will. It enervates their spirit. It eats at them and hurts and nothing seems effective without serious side-effects (if then). It makes them exhausted and deprives them of a normal life and often of a normal diet. I think this is pretty close to Hell on Earth and I've witnessed it with both of my parents. I've seen an only slightly less severe version of this over the last year and a half to two years with Catherine.
We all tend to take our blessings for granted, not recognizing them. Mobility and pain free living are key examples, but we often don't see that until they are a memory.
I have every confidence in the doctors and in Catherine. Whatever happens, she and I and MJ will get through it. We will because we must - we are a family. We'll find ways to make it work. It'll be easier if the surgery is a raging success and recovery time is short, but we'll deal with whatever comes. I'm not going to leave her hanging when she needs a rock. I'm not going to leave MJ without the sense of stability and well-being that a loving home with constancy and care bring.
I will do as I always do - pray for the best and prepare for the worst. I can't mitigate the surgical risks or the possibilities during recovery, but I can make sure all of the mundane stuff (or at least the critical parts of 'all') get done - feeding the family, laundry, household cleanup, maintaining the garden, getting MJ where she needs to go (through into grade 4!) and helping her deal with the emotions that come from having a parent hurting and not being able to stop that (I wish I'd had a bit of support here but my parents didn't recognize the effects it would have nor of how long lasting they would become) - I do and I certainly will help MJ deal with those tough moments and with any misplaces sense of blame she may direct her own way for not being able to solve the unsolvable.
As I have told Catherine on many occasions as life dealt us harsh bumps we didn't need during the last 3 years: "I would rather spend a bad day dealing with tough stuff as part of your life then any other day without you in my life (and that covers MJ too)."
