Chatham, cat wating for adoption, wins ribbon at Cat Fancier's show!

Chatham, a handsome cat in the care of the SPCA, wins "Best Household Pet"...

Three Questions

A friend of mine (Laserlight) raised the question of what three questions you would ask of someone you've met before proposing. He sets the scenario such that you have already established very basic compatibility. He further suggests that if you are married you phrase it as 'what I wish I had asked...'

I gave my answer in the comments to his blog. I think it's an interesting question or two. And some of his replies are interesting.

I'll put my own 'probing query' up:

If you could go back and reverse decisions you took (or actions) or else change outcomes, what 3 would you go back and revise?

Please avoid the obvious one: "I'd make sure my lottery ticket won." or the like - "I'd do it all the same again" is acceptable, but perhaps shows you aren't a quick learner or don't believe much in improvement... *grin*

Tulips + Canal + Movie + Beer = Good Day

Today promised to be an interesting day. A bit of time was spent getting off some information to my accountant (too bad she isn't single - she is really quite attractive and smart!). Then there was the headache caused by the construction hammers and saws - ripping balconies off the back of the building, cutting rebar, etc. So the start to the day was dodgy.

But it got better around 5:30 pm. I had stuck earplugs in and tried to sleep off the headache and it mostly worked. About 6:30 pm, I got on the bus (first time since 1986 on an Ottawa OC Transpo Bus!) and successfully rode the 101 to Dow's Lake.

I proceeded to spend the next two hours wandering the length of Commissioner's Park and shooting lots of snaps with my (admittedly crappy camera) cell-phone. I saw many lovely tulips in lovely arrangements - dark midnight purple, mid purple, purple with white fringes, pink, pink with white fringes, white with pink splashes, white, yellow, yellow with red highlights, red, red with orange highlights, red closer to orange, and so on. There were a few other non-tulip beds and a variety of interesting trees and other greenery. Tomorrow I'll try to extract the photos from my camera and post a link to an library of them, likely on Google's Photo Site.

I noticed a lot of families, kids, mothers, fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers. There were bikers and walkers and even a those with canes or wheelchairs. The weather was lovely - 16 to 18 Celcius. A cloudy sky in the later day, but beautiful nonetheless. The water of the canal was lovely and I saw ducks and other birds as well and a lovely tortoise shell cat in one of the flower beds (assuming the picture came out).

I saw the state 'man with two hats' and the plaques talking about the Canadian Liberation of the Scheldt Estuary. If you haven't read much about this, Mark Zuehlke has a book or two you should read - the battle for the Scheldt was not an easy one and many brave boys died to liberate the Netherlands and the low countries. I understand there is a duplicate statue somewhere in Appeldorn, Netherlands and I hope to visit it one day.

I also saw the simple but effective plaque, set off in a nicely separated ring surrounded by nice beds of greenery, commemorating the people who died, many of them Canadians, on Air India Flight 182 that was bombed in Irish airspace in 1985 by Sikh extremists. My thoughts went out yet again to the families of the innocent victims and our Government's failure to secure convictions in this matter once again made me embarrassed.

I had a Menonite organic sausage and a bun, some fresh cut fries, and an ice cream. The sausage was good, but I think the spicy Italian sausages from Preston street nearby are slightly better, although I can't guarantee they are entirely organic (as it is meant nowadays). Still, eating overlooking the canal and Dow's lake was lovely.

On the way back from my 3 mile (est) round trip, I read a bit about Dow's lake and the Rideau Canal. I'd studied it before in studying the conflicts in early Canada and in Engineering History at Queen's University. Colonel John By and the Royal Engineers did quite a job in constructing the Rideau Canal system. I did discover something new - when a fire raged through the town and threatened the canal, they cut one of the earthen berms and drained out some of the water from the canal and Dow's lake to flood the area around Preston street to create a barrier agains the fire, saving the canal work and probably parts of the city.

The whole wandering pilgrimage was worthwhile, pleasant, and breathtaking. I did botch one picture that would have been printed in our papers and made me a minor celebrity for 15 minutes - I almost had a picture of a fenced flower bed, with a no walking on the flower bed sign, and 18" away, a mother and grandmother were putting their kids into the midst of the flowers to get a photo. That's the sort of thing that explains the current state of our world.

As I was ambling back, watching ducks land on the water, I texted a friend about going for beer on Preston. He pointed out he and another friend (Ricki D and Dan R for those who know them) were waiting for "Monsters vs. Aliens" to start at the AMC.

Seeing nothing odd about two grown, middle-aged men going to see an animated cartoon, I immediately made plans to join them (to add yet another grown, middle-aged man to the group). This, however, gave me just under 30 minutes to get from half way down the Canal from Dow's Lake to my apartment and thence to Kanata. About 500m on foot, several lights, then 9 city blocks by bus, then about 10-15 km by car were required.

Thus ensued my version of the modern urban triathlon: Fast walking, busing, and driving. I arrived after the first couple of minutes of the film, but basically caught the vast majority of it. It was a good film - good for kids and grown ups. Funny, heartwarming, and with enough of the sorts of comments that would sail by the kids (and homages that would do the same) to keep adult interest.

From there, we ended up at O'Connor's. Rick and Dan feigned outrage at not being carded, I joked about us needing a Senior's Card. This got Dark looks. But beer was had, women were watched, a band was heard (and little else after...), and fun was had. I'm sure for some of the younger patrons, it was the first time they'd heard the Doors or CCR. And apparently the spiked hair/fake tan guido look is still around. The more things change, the more they don't....

So, a good night overall. Beautiful flowers and a lovely walk by the water, some good friends, a beer, a laugh or ten at the movie, and some cute young ladies to not-approach-due-to-lack-of-courage. That's an excellent evening and day in my opinion!

If I Had A Million Dollars...

I was watching a piece on TV about a fellow who was working to be an Olympic Badminton champion for Canada. His Dad recently asked him what he'd do with a million dollars and he was nonplussed - he really couldn't think of what he'd do with it because he was already doing the things he wanted to be doing with his life. That's a potent statement about living your dreams and finding your happiness.

In reflecting on that, I thought a bit about what I'd most like from life in the next short while and after that, in the medium to long term. Well, the medium to long term forecast was about as fuzzy as any that Environment Canada ever cranked out. But the short-term forecast for what I'd really like was amazingly clear.

It turns out the thing I most want to do right now is take the summer off - not bother to pursue work, not feel stressed about it. Most of the time in the last years, I've had time off only when contracts ended - often in the early winter or over Christmas leading into the doldrums of the early months of the year. Not exactly your most fun-filled moments. Not much outside life. And when I'm at work, my non-work life largely evaporates.

So I thought to myself.... I haven't had a summer off in a while. I haven't enjoyed enough of the weather between 10-25 C for far too long. I haven't got enough nice sun married to decent breezes for far too long. And I haven't spent as much time with my parents over the past three to five years as I should have. My parents aren't the only ones who missed me - many of my friends did not see much of me either.

And thus, I thought.... If I could afford to take the summer off (mostly), I would pursue a number of pended projects; Scultping and casting, furniture constructions, car repair, book reading catching-up, seeing friends, spending time with my Dad and getting him to finish teaching me about woodworking, welding, brazing, spending time with my Mom getting her to teach me to sew, spending time with both of my parents recording the family history in their own words, getting my living space 'just so', trying to brew some beer, finding a way to get out sailing on a boat, visiting my godson, starting to get in shape, working on my pastry making skills (okay, those last two sort of contradict), and working on a couple of projects related to potential career change (maybe getting back to school sometime soon or pursuing a few other ideas).

I figured out that in order to do this, I need to have $8000 in the bank that isn't spoken for. I could probably do it on a bit less.

Ultimately, my folks have a finite span on this world. I still want to spend some time with them and I want to harvest more of their knowledge. I want to do some more things with my hands and have my Dad's advice on doing them. I want to spend some time with them, even if it is only hanging out, drinking a beer and watching a NASCAR race with them (Mom has become a big fan).

What I don't want to do is rush back into another contract that won't really grow my skillset tremendously, that won't teach me knew technologies, that will further the ratrace experience I get working in the modern technology world, and that leads me to bad lifestyle habits that aren't to my long term (or short term) good.

I don't want to miss the time with my friends either. Or seeing their kids, since I don't have my own, grow up.

I don't know how long I or my parents have, but the math tells me there is less of each every passing day. I also see that there is less of them and or a healthy me each day that I slog away in the trenches for the benefit of my corporate overlords/employers. That's not the incentive it once was.

A retirement fund does me no good when I don't make retirement. A retirement fund does me no good if I lose track of all my friends by working too hard. A retirement fund does me no good if my lifestyle leaves me a wreck unable to appreciate it even if I am around. And the markets seem to hate the idea of me retiring anyway.

So, make more money? Meh. Work more building things I'm not really convinced matter? Blech. Yes, some of my work HAS made a difference. Some of it is useful, and some of it saves lives. But a lot of it doesn't and the utility may even be debatable. Yes, I got paid - so I could pay taxes, put money into a market that is a greedfest and that I don't think anyone really understands well enough to predict, and to watch years of my life slip by as I kept thinking 'things will change next year'.

Tomorrow never comes unless you go out to find it. Your future is something you build and it seems that just flowing along and assuming it will attend itself is not much use. You need to be aware of yourself and what your life is doing to you and I am much more aware now than ever before. I am aware of my finite nature, the finite nature of those I care about, and the reality of tempus fugit.

The only one who can improve my present and thereafter my future is me. Part of that involves rethinking what matters. To me, in the short run, work isn't really reaching onto my radar. What matters is the people in my life and my own peace and happiness and figuring out what dream I need to be pursuing. That might take some time. But you don't get anywhere without a first step.

I know what I'd do with a million dollars, but in the short run, a few thousand will do. I'm going to live this summer for me, for my peace of mind, and to open myself to the possibilities outside the current rutted track I'm on. I have no idea if that will work out, but I'm at peace with the idea it is the thing that feels right to me now.

Mother's Day at the Homestead

A late arrival caused by some shopping challenges encouraged a late start to dinner. After 2 solid hours of preparation an early cooking stages, the meal went into the 'simmer for two hours' phase.

The final meal was:

• Garlic and Butter Mashed Potatos
• Steamed Asparagus
• Tomb's 3B Guiness Brazed Beef (3B = Beer, Beef, Bacon!) : Included bacon, carrots, celery, onions, bay leaves, thyme, Guiness (in my case had to add a little gooseberry ale since I was about half a can short on the Guiness), a splash of port, a wee bit of salt, pepper, montreal steak spice, flour and canola oil (for searing the beef), fresh minced garlic, beef stock, and (in this case) a cubed round roast of beef - with a four stage cooking process.
• Desert was a Panna Cotta with a Blueberry and Peach Compote : Didn't make this one - President's Choice, comes in individual portions you have to unthaw and attempt to decant without disaster - and it is the first cousin of a Creme Brulee since Panna Cotta is cooked cream.

All in all, an excellent meal.

While the meal was simmering, I walked Mom through a bit more of the 'Computers 101' course - she has some awful trouble keeping the cursor from moving away from her text insertion point - I think it may be touch pad related. I may have to disable the touch pad and go for an external mouse or at least disable the tap-to-click aspect of the trackpad. Getting a more visible cursor set may also be necessary.

She tried to send out her first email and did so, albeit with some pretty painful stages. Think yourself privileged, Douglas! I know she plans to try to respond to Alan, Toni, Kevin, James, etc. as she is able (that may yet be a while). A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step, but it sure takes a while to come to an end. :0)

Anyway, a good time visiting the parents. A good day. Mom didn't have to cook and Dad could eat with his dodgy teeth. So a general win, although I made no progress on my table construction project this day (much like many other visits recently).

On the side of concern, Dad is going in for Dental Surgery Tuesday. I'd be lying if I didn't say my anxiety level is uncomfortably high. I just don't seem to be able to batten down the uptight feeling I have about this and it is rather unpleasant. It needs done and the GP has given her go ahead, but he's the only Dad I've got and I want him around for a long time more. Of course, I want him not to be suffering and he needs to get some teeth fixed.

So if you are the sort to pray, say a few for my Dad. If you aren't the sort to pray, at least think about it being a positive outcome. I'm not sure we can impact the universe in such ways, but it is always wise to hedge your bets....

Mother's Day Meal

As the weather is pretty unpleasant and the cold and damp is upsetting Mother's poor bones, I'm going to cook dinner tomorrow for Mother and Dad. The task is made slightly more challenging as Dad is waiting for some dental surgery Tuesday.

So I'm going to make something tasty, but easily consumed without chewing - I'm going to make a Guinness brazed beef, make sure it cooks for long enough to be very tender, and then shred the beef. That ought to be easy to eat, flavourful, and require no chewing. With that, I'll probably serve some cooked-soft asparagus, perhaps some well mashed potato with garlic and butter, and a desert which is some sort of pudding.

Mom can enjoy the next best thing to steak (a nice beef dish) and she can avoid preparing a meal, giving her a bit more of a rest (not that she understands the word....) which is probably the best thing I can do for her. I also got her a copy of Shakedown by Ezra Levant detailing the dubious and troubling aspects of the Canadian Human Right's Councils operation, power and process, particularly as it pertains to Section 13 governing freedom of speech and hate speech.

I can't ease her pain and I can't give her back the ability to walk and be as independent as she was before her accident, but if I can even make life a little easier and give her some time to do something she enjoys (she has become a big Nascar afficionado lately), then that's probably the best that can be managed. She's one of a very special kind.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is upon us. This is a very special day to most of us as most of us have a mother (some end up with more than one - I have been so blessed). Most of us wouldn't have got to where we are in life without the help and support of our mother.

My own mother is a small, frail old lady - big in spirit, but physically limited due to age and the deteriorations resulting from an accident a few years back with a dump truck. She has a fair portion of hard days and she copes with them and my father's health problems with an amazing patience and aplomb I could only aspire to. Both of my parents have coped with the challenges life has thrown at them over the past few years in a most amazing fashion. I often feel sadly incapable whenever I look at the footsteps I'm walking in.

I've been very fortunate to have both of my parents. My father taught me to be practical and realistic and as importantly, he taught me about ethics and honour. My mother taught me about compassion, kindness, charity and integrity. I'm still learning from them every day and I'm thankful that I have been given that chance.

Toni and Alan have been like a second family to me and have extended to me the warmth and friendship that make me feel like I truly do have two homes. As a single person sometimes prone to periods of relative solitude (and not overfond of those), that's a godsend in its own way.

I have many friends who are now mothers in their own right: Rhonda, Shelly, Susan, Stephanie, Annette, Wendy, Linda, Natalie, Julie, Lisa, Laurie, Lisa the second, Erica, and probably a few others I can't recall. Each in their own way has grown more complete and more amazing as time has gone by and as they raise their children.

My heart is filled with best wishes for my Mother, for my other Mother, and for all of the Mothers I know and who've made me feel at home and welcome in their worlds. My life wouldn't have been the same without them and is far the better for having them in it.

I'd like to also extend a special thought for Mother's Day: A few of my friends have lost theirs to the fates and the passage of time. I want them to know I'm thinking of them and their mother's as well this mother's day. I hope they can feel welcome in the homes and families of others and find a small part of what they once had. My family has always made my friends welcome, another fine mark in their favour as my friends are uniformly quality people, and I hope that all of my friends know that attitude of welcome from my family (and me) continues to this day.

To all of the Mothers: My warmest regards, my blessings, and a wish that the coming years bring you nothing but the happiness and contentment you deserve. Well done.