Unforseen Wonders

These last months have been a cyclone of activities, crises, emotions, discoveries, fears, and joys. If you had asked me 7 months ago, I could not have imagined the future of that moment unfolding as it has. If I could have, I have no idea how I would have taken it in or even fathomed it. I certainly would not have had any idea what path to take forward.

I can only thank God that I could not see 90% of the iceberg as I may, as the man I was then, have been fearful. I would like to think I would have still had the courage to go forward, but I cannot know.

If I had not had the courage, I would have missed out on much that has been physically and emotionally challenging ( although that word hardly does any justice to the experience). I would have missed out on some hurts and fears, as well as a lot of ambiguity and confusion.

If I had not had the courage, I would have missed so many parts of the experience which were and continue to be profound, healing, perspective expanding, joyous, educational, and inspiring. I would have never discovered so many new and amazing aspects of my heart, brain, and soul. I would have not discovered life without judging, with self-esteem, with a belief in life worth truly living. I would never have discovered that a person undergoing trauma could find it in themselves to truly see another and to help them heal and see themselves anew in a healthy way.

I have been in an increasingly dark place over the last fifteen years. But a light shone through the darkness and showed me a path out, a path to the light. It is not an easy path, far from it. But I tread that tough path willingly and with a sense of peace when I can hold my Demons at bay. It is a path to an uncertain future, but I feel like I am on the path I have chosen freely yet also on the path Destiny has always intended for me.

Along the way, I have met two wonderful kids, learned so much I never had a chance to before, and have found out life is really worth the effort and that I am a lot better and more capable in so many ways than I ever believed before. Hopefully, I have helped two friends and two great kids along the way.  Every bit of these months, hard or easy, has been an irreplaceable and priceless gift.

I have a profound gratitude and sense of wonder. Whatever the future holds, I want to walk the path that Destiny and choice dictate. It'll be a great trip. Nothing could be more wonderful.

Thanks.